I know that no one reads this, so that is why I feel comfortable venting now. Lately, everything has fucking sucked. I fuck up left and right, people are being fake with their relationships with me and true feelings, I've just lost my way. My heart is fucking broken because of this disease I've caught, and everything is just wrong, wrong, wrong.

Boo-hoo, wah wah, poor me! It's not like that. I just don't really understand why everything has taken a turn for the worse. I guess I just need to completely understand and start living based off the statement, "Every action has a reaction."

What's going on exactly?

Things are leaving my control..............

i find it humorous and all the same repulsive how comfortable i am in my newfound hate of the garden. i finally got cut to pieces completely by your ugly thorns. my attained freedom from your judgment is just as much as a relief as it is a heavy weight. the rope that held us together could never be extended, and i have cut myself from the leash. you have planted your weeds in my life and now i am pluckin' them out one by one. a rigorous task if anything, but one i can handle. and from here on out, just by your ugliness i have acquired all my beliefs and plans once again, my goal now is to make more time for myself. myself. i am back with myself, and i am thrustin' myself into the world, inch by inch. i am troubled by my priorities, but i can get them back in order, somehow. the lights in my world have been off for too long and now i am repairing the circuit breaker, broken wires, broken energy, broken up me. i am turnin' everything back on. the sparks have sent my body into shock and i have accepted the task. i am ready to learn, ready to think, ready to be something again. however, i remain flustered on who to break free from, or even how to do it. i'd like to say time will tell, but time is no object to my affection & commitment. but all my trials and tribulations, all my wins and failures, i'm starting now to enjoy all of them. livin' fast, livin' fast. square one, here we go, here we go! i've come home to my heart. i'm here, i'm here, i'm here, i'm here! time to rock, time to fall, time to fly, time for everything i can get my little hands on. time for everything your influence kept me away from. time.

3 years it was built up
and 3 years later it all came crashing down once again

Take it back. I meant what I said. Take it back. Take it all fuckin' back.

I can't pick between people, even when the best choice is obvious.
Things are at a down right now. So called it.

it's coming down to me making a decision. i'm tired of being tugged left and right. and i'm about to just say, no one.
who to trust? who to trust? i don't know if i can even trust my self
and you're right, i am addicted to *. you know what it means when i ask you to come over
you know exactly what it means. i hear no arguments